I am so glad the kids are in bed, kitchen is cleaned up and I can go to sleep in a little while! I'm beat.
This morning I nearly popped out of bed; a milestone for me! The alarm went off at 6:30 and I immediately got going. Didn't hit snooze and didn't lay there calculating how many minutes more I could stay there before I really HAD to get up. I've been waiting for this day since I started the Whole30!
I had to go to VBS with the kids for Water Day so I didn't have time to make paleo pumpkin pancakes like I did last Friday and had planned to do. Instead, I had two fried eggs and a serving of Banquet breakfast sausage links.
Now, here's where I have a confession to make - the sausage links were not Whole30 compliant. They contain several no-no ingredients; sugar, dextrose and MSG. (Although, I don't recall MSG being on the ingredient list of the box I had.)
These are the sausage links I ate every weekday morning before starting the Whole30 and I was hoping my son would eat the last serving of them. However, he decided that he doesn't like them and my daughter also no longer likes them. Scott has no reason to eat them, as he's at work during the week and makes bacon on the weekends. (Bacon that I can't eat right now because it's cured with sugar! Womp, womp.) So, if I didn't eat them they were going to be thrown away and lemme tell ya somethin, this girl does not waste food! No sirree. There are people starving in Africa, right Dad?
I knew eggs alone wouldn't hold me over and that I had to have something more. But, I didn't have time to make anything else. After thinking it through, I decided to eat the sausage and never buy it again.
I don't consider this a deal breaker as I was not intending to cheat and I still have 18 days to go so that any setback those "no-no" ingredients may have caused should have time to work themselves out of my system.
My confession doesn't end there though, I also accidentally used PAM to spray the frying pan this morning. Doh! As soon as I realized what I had done, I literally stopped, read the ingredients, and thought about what I should do. What would you have done?
I decided to go ahead and fry the eggs. I thought about wiping the pan out and using EVOO, but I am really trying to be thoughtful about this "diet" and not robotic. I don't want to be obsessive or legalistic, as these are thought processes I have struggled with in the past (not necessarily with food, but with other life issues.)
In some ways my decisions to go rogue are helping me more than sticking to the Whole30 rules would be. I'm typically people-pleasing, rule following, Type A, and anxiety ridden. Facing decisions like the ones I faced this morning and taking time to think them through feels liberating. Not just because I'm breaking the rules, but because I'm using my ability to make decisions and not being controlled by "shoulds" or "what ifs".
In hindsight, I wish I had planned better for breakfast today. I could have made paleo pancakes last night so that I'd have them ready for this morning (even though they're technically a "no-no" too). I could have eaten an avocado or fruit with my eggs, or both! At the time, I felt limited, but having had more time to think about it, I see where I could have made better choices.
Hopefully you understand why I'm not starting over even though the creators of Whole30 might suggest I should.
For morning snacks I ate an Apple Pie Larabar and what was left of the fruit salad.
A generous neighbor gave me a bunch of fresh food before leaving for vacation and with that I made this recipe, sans the cheese. It was delicious, but I found myself craving crunch for lunch today. That's the one thing I've missed most since starting the Whole30; tortilla chips, crackers, toasted bread...
My signature smoothie was a nice comfort after my failure of a morning and held me over until dinner which was leftover pork, a half an avocado, black olives and raspberries. I had no appetite for veggies.
My stomach has been uncomfortable this afternoon. So much so that I took some Gas-x to see if that would relieve the discomfort. I don't know if it's all the veggies I ate for lunch or the trace amounts of sugar, dextrose, MSG and soy I consumed for breakfast. What do you think?
To close the day I ate a spoonful of cashew butter and drank a little almond milk. And now I can't wait to crawl into bed.
So long Day 12. I started out with a bang, muddled through, and now I'm looking forward to a good day tomorrow! Ciao!
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